The time was the second half of the year 2020, there was a huge outbreak of the pandemic, I was experiencing conflicts with my boss, work stress and various adversities in life, and I was sad a lot. I lost interest in doing what I liked, and although I hadn’t cried for many years, at that time I felt like I shed all the tears I saved for over 20 years. I also cried in front of my boss, but she wasn’t understanding. Instead, she mocked me and accused me of using my mood as an excuse for my dissatisfactory performance. Eventually, she fired me one day with some excuses, and since I lost my income I isolated myself further, I didn’t want my family to know I was fired due to my performance. I was worrying about my income every day and I couldn’t sleep well.
One day, my family noticed I was in a very unstable condition. I had thoughts of harming myself, I felt like I was a burden to the world. My family accompanied me to the hospital where I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and mild depression. I was then referred to the Serene House of Castle Peak Hospital for doctor appointments. I contacted my primary school teacher who is now working as a church pastoral worker and studying counselling. I received her counselling service and I went to church, at the same time I consulted my doctor. At first, I didn’t need medication, but as my condition worsened, the doctor suggested I take medication, starting with half a pill as a trial. I am grateful I only took medication for half a year and only took a low dosage.
At my last doctor appointment, he asked whether I was taking medication regularly and whether my difficulties in life were solved. He then decided I didn’t need medications and follow-up appointments anymore. I also saw a clinical psychologist for only 3 times. I am grateful I met a good doctor and a good psychologist and I will always remember their encouragement and care.
Nowadays, I volunteer at the church as I hope to serve my fellow brothers and sisters. I shared my witnesses and experience at the church, they did not view me as a monster but instead were very accepting. I see them every week at the church, they accompanied me through my journey, and with God by my side, I was able to recover in half a year. Now I have my tutoring job and I have recovered my income. I am also furthering my education and I learnt more about why I was in a depressive state. I took courses on emotional-focused therapy for youth and children, mental health first aid and cognitive-behavioural therapy, and also joined Project C for Mental Wellness organised by Oi Kwan. All these learnings allow me to understand the needs of people facing mental health challenges. They may feel helpless and alone at this stage, but we exist to let them know they are not alone. Just like how the ambassador training started by telling us that no one has to face a mental health challenge alone, we are here for them.
We truly need companions on our mental health journey. Even if you fall into the deepest pit, whenever you are ready to stand up again, there is always someone willing to help you up.
