Personality Disorders

Disclaimer:

This publication is based on a Mind UK publication and the original version may be found here: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/a-z-mental-health/

Thank you to Mind UK for sharing their valuable content with us. Content included in Mental Health A-Z is made available free of charge and does not form part of any commercial activity. The adaptation has been done independently by Mind HK and is intended for general information purposes only.

How can I help myself? 

If you experience a personality disorder, every day might feel like a struggle and there may be times when everything seems too much to cope with. There are coping strategies that can help though. Below are some ideas of things you can do to help yourself both now and in the longer-term. 

Different things work for different people at different times so try to be kind to yourself if some things don’t work for you. We are all unique so things you find helpful when you are struggling may be really personal to you, and may change over time. 

  • What can I do now? 
  • What can I do in the longer-term? 

What can I do now? 

If you’re experiencing lots of difficult feelings and are particularly overwhelmed it can be useful to break things down and focus on one thing at a time. Below is a list of tips and techniques which might help you through difficult periods and over time you might develop your own techniques to add to this list. 

If you’re feeling angry, frustrated or restless 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • try a breathing exercise 
  • turn up your favourite music, and dance or sing 
  • do something with your hands, like fixing something or making something 
  • do something creative like colouring, drawing, creative writing or making music 
  • write in a journal 
  • take a shower – some people find trying a cold shower in particular can help. 

See our page on how to manage anger for more tips. 

If you’re feeling depressed, sad or lonely 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • get comfy and watch your favourite TV show 
  • read a favourite book 
  • write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and scrunch or tear it up 
  • listen to a song or watch a video you find uplifting 
  • write a comforting letter to the part of yourself that is feeling sad or alone 
  • cuddle a pet or a soft toy. 

See our page on self-care for depression for more tips. 

If you’re feeling anxious, panicky or tense 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • make yourself a hot drink and drink it slowly, noticing the taste and smell, the shape of the mug and its weight in your hand 
  • take ten deep breaths, counting each one out loud 
  • write down everything you can think of about where you are right now, such as the time, date, colour of the walls and the furniture in the room 
  • take a warm bath or shower – this can help change your mood by creating a soothing atmosphere and a distracting physical sensation. 

See our page on self-care for anxiety and panic attacks for more tips. 

If you’re feeling dissociative or spaced out 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • breathe slowly 
  • listen to sounds around you 
  • walk barefoot 
  • wrap yourself in a blanket and feel it around you 
  • eat or sniff something with a strong taste or smell. 

See our page on self-care for dissociative disorders for more tips. 

If you want to self-harm 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • stick sellotape or a plaster on your skin and peel it off 
  • hold ice cubes where you want to hurt yourself 
  • have a very cold shower. 

See our page on helping yourself cope with self-harm for more tips. 

“Not everyone finds the same things helpful. It’s possible for people to find their own coping methods. Using techniques I don’t find helpful is actually very distressing, as is being told I have to do them.” 

What can I do in the longer-term? 

Taking some time to make your wellbeing a priority can make a big difference to how you’re feeling. Here are some ideas: 

Talk to someone 

It can be hard to reach out to people when you are not feeling well, but sharing difficult thoughts can often make them seem a little easier to handle. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to people around you, you could try contacting a helpline. 

For example, you can talk to The Samaritans Hong Kong (multilingual hotline: 2896 0000) or The Samaritan Befrienders Hong Kong (Chinese hotline: 2389 2222) for free about anything that’s upsetting you. See Mind HK’s Community Directory for more information about different helplines and services. 

Keep a mood diary 

Monitoring your moods will help you understand more about yourself and your mood patterns, and to recognise changes which might be hard to spot otherwise. Many people use mood diaries to do this. 

It’s also helpful to identify the good things that you’ve done or have happened to you. It’s important to practise being kind to yourself and note the positive steps you’ve taken or techniques that help. 

“Sometimes I have good periods where my symptoms don’t really trouble me – at other times, they can be overwhelming. It’s sometimes hard not to beat myself up for the relapses, but that’s something I need to keep working on. It’s ok to struggle sometimes.” 

Plan for difficult times 

You might not always feel able to tell people how you’re feeling or what help you need so it’s a good idea to create a crisis plan that explains what you would like to happen in an emergency. 

This could include: 

  • who to contact 
  • what treatments you would like to have or avoid 
  • at what point you would like people to consider hospital treatment as an option. 

There are many different types of crisis plan.

Contact an advocate If you feel like you’re not being listened to or treated fairly (such as when talking to doctors or accessing treatment) an advocate can help you have your voice heard.

For more ideas about caring for yourself when you’re feeling unwell, see our pages on self-care for a mental health problem

Make a self-care box You might find it helpful to have some things that help you when you’re struggling that you can access easily – a bit like making a first-aid kit for your mental health. 

For example: 

  • favourite books, films or CDs 
  • a stress ball or fiddle toy for releasing agitation 
  • helpful quotes or notes of encouragement 
  • pictures or photos you find comforting 
  • a soft blanket or cuddly toy 
  • a nice-smelling candle or lavender bag. 

“I learned distraction techniques. My favourite one was my Positivity Book, which is kind of like a scrap book filled with things which make me happy.” 

Find coping strategies for self-harm 

If you have a personality disorder, you may be self-harming as a way of dealing with very difficult feelings or overwhelming situations and experiences. 

See our pages on self-harm for other ways to help yourself cope. 

Try mindfulness or relaxation exercises 

This could help you to feel calmer and manage unhelpful thoughts. See our pages on mindfulness and relaxation tips for more information. 

“I learnt to be kind to myself and that life can be different if I put the work in. Some days I forget what it feels like to be positive and hopeful for the future, but I know it won’t last. I deserve to be happy and live a fulfilled life and I’m not about to let an illness take that away from me.” 

Try peer support 

Talking to others with similar experiences to you can be helpful. Peer support gives people a chance to share their experience, give and receive support and hear and learn from others. There are lots of ways to find peer support. You could: 

  • try peer support services at NGOs and community centres, e.g. New Life.

Look after your physical health 

Your physical health can make a difference to how you feel emotionally so it’s important to look after it wherever possible. For example, it can help to: 

  • Try to get enough sleep. Sleep can help give you the energy to cope with difficult feelings and experiences. Try to get to know and respect where your limits are and how much rest you need to feel well – take lots of extra rest if you need it. See our pages on coping with sleep problems for more information. 
  • Think about your diet. Eating regularly and healthily can make a difference to your mood and energy levels. See our pages on food and mood for more information. 
  • Try to do some physical activity. Exercise, including gentle exercise, can be really helpful for your mental wellbeing. It doesn’t have to be anything vigorous, try a short walk or even some chair-based exercises. See our pages on physical activity for more information. 
  • Spend time outside. Spending time in green space can have lots of positive effects on your wellbeing. See our pages on nature and mental health for more information and ideas to try in nature
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol. While you might want to use drugs or alcohol as a distraction from difficult feelings, in the long run they can make you feel a lot worse and can prevent you from dealing with any underlying problems that the drug or alcohol use may have been masking. See our pages on recreational drugs and alcohol or the Hong Kong Jockey Club Drug Info Centre website for more information. 

Find specialist support for any social issues contributing to your distress 

Some people with personality disorders have had very difficult experiences which have contributed to their distress, such as abuse, bullying or discrimination. If you’ve experienced issues like these, it could be helpful to explore any help out there for these too. 

For example, if you have been abused in childhood, the Against Child Abuse website has some support services, and our pages on PTSD list other organisations that could help.

What is iACT Service?

Improving Access to Community Therapies (iACT®) is one of the services from Mind HK. Trained Wellbeing Practitioners will offer initial assessment and early intervention for people dealing with mild to moderate symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other emotional difficulties.

 

The service includes 6-8 sessions of low-intensity psychological support, the flexibility of the service allows individuals to receive free and timely support when needed.

If you’re aged between 18 – 65 and are facing some emotional challenges, we would like to invite you to take an online assessment for us to gain a better understanding of your current emotional struggle.

 

If you’re eligible, we’ll get you connected with a Wellbeing Practitioner within two weeks to sort out the next steps.

The service runs for about 3 months and includes 6-8 support sessions, tailored to your needs.

 

We encourage you to attend all sessions and actively practice the tips and exercises provided by your Wellbeing Practitioner.

We take your privacy seriously. Your chats with the Wellbeing Practitioner are confidential.

 

We won’t share any of your info unless you’ve provided consent or if there are risks detected.

This programme isn’t suitable for people facing emergencies, major setbacks, or those diagnosed with serious or complex mental health conditions.

 

If you’re having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, this programme might not meet your needs, so please seek help right away. You can check out Mind HK’s “Find Help Now” page for immediate information and services.

Most of our Wellbeing Practitioners have backgrounds in psychology or counselling and are passionate about mental health. They’ve gone through about 140 hours of intensive training and completed at least 120 hours of supervised clinical practice over 9 months to ensure the quality of service.

 

They’re trained by accredited local experts in the mental health field, including clinical psychologists, counselling psychologists, counsellors, and psychiatrists. Plus, we regularly check how effective our services are. All service outputs and performances are subject to consistent monitoring.

Who is suitable for participating in this programme?

This programme welcomes anyone between the ages of 18 and 65 who may be feeling lost or facing emotional difficulties. Please note that this programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions.

This programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions, but suitable for those who experience mild to severe moderate anxiety, mild to moderate depression, or other emotional challenges. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

After signing up, our Wellbeing Practitioner will contact you within two weeks to schedule a convenient time for a 45-minute conversation, either via video or phone call, according to your preference. During the conversation, the Wellbeing Practitioner will understand your current situation and help you gain a better understanding of your emotional state based on the questionnaire you filled out during application. Additionally, they will provide recommendations for appropriate community resources based on your needs, helping you take an important first step in taking care of your mental health.

Although the intervention procedure is mostly standardised, Wellbeing Practitioners will work flexibly with clients to address individual presenting problems and unique characteristics.

Our Wellbeing Practitioners are trained to support people who experience mild to moderate mental health difficulties primarily. This programme is not suitable for the situations mentioned above. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

Your conversations with the Wellbeing Practitioner are absolutely confidential. Any information about you will not be shared with anyone without your consent unless you or others are at immediate risk or the Wellbeing Practitioner has reason to believe that you may be in imminent danger.
Supervisors will monitor trainees’ development throughout the placement to ensure that they are meeting the required level of competency to pass the training course at the end of the placement.

Yes, it is necessary to book an appointment in advance by filling out the form. Additionally, you can select one of the five stores yourself. We will allocate clients to different Wellbeing Practitioners based on their chosen location.

Before having the conversation, we will ask you to fill out a basic questionnaire for preliminary screening assessment. This screening process aims to ensure that the training received by the Wellbeing Practitioners is sufficient to meet the needs of the individuals receiving the service. If it is determined after the screening assessment that the service is not suitable for you, Mind HK will provide alternative recommendations to ensure your safety and support.

For adults who are suitable for this service, all Wellbeing Practitioners have received training on how to identify and respond to safety and risk issues. If you have any concerns about the support process, the Wellbeing Practitioners have appropriate measures in place and will develop response plans based on the urgency of the situation. They can also access support from clinical practitioners from Mind HK or participating organisations.

What private training does Mind HK provide?

Mind HK provides 4 themes of mental health training, including: Supporting Self, Supporting Others, Family Wellbeing and DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion).

 

Check out the brochure here for more information.

Mind HK provides a wide range of standardised mental health training, which can be tailored to different circumstances. Chat with our team to explore more

Our trainers come from a diverse, accredited pool of clinically experienced professionals. Check out our trainers’ biographies here.

Yes, the Mental Health First Aid class of Mind HK is internationally accredited by the MHFA International. The content and certification is delivered by trainers certified from the Mental Health Association of Hong Kong. You can find out our trainers accreditation here.

We are here to support your mental health education journey! Reach out to us and chat with our team.

How can I help myself?

How can I help myself? 

If you experience a personality disorder, every day might feel like a struggle and there may be times when everything seems too much to cope with. There are coping strategies that can help though. Below are some ideas of things you can do to help yourself both now and in the longer-term. 

Different things work for different people at different times so try to be kind to yourself if some things don't work for you. We are all unique so things you find helpful when you are struggling may be really personal to you, and may change over time. 

  • What can I do now? 
  • What can I do in the longer-term? 

What can I do now? 

If you're experiencing lots of difficult feelings and are particularly overwhelmed it can be useful to break things down and focus on one thing at a time. Below is a list of tips and techniques which might help you through difficult periods and over time you might develop your own techniques to add to this list. 

If you're feeling angry, frustrated or restless 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • try a breathing exercise 
  • turn up your favourite music, and dance or sing 
  • do something with your hands, like fixing something or making something 
  • do something creative like colouring, drawing, creative writing or making music 
  • write in a journal 
  • take a shower - some people find trying a cold shower in particular can help. 

See our page on how to manage anger for more tips. 

If you're feeling depressed, sad or lonely 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • get comfy and watch your favourite TV show 
  • read a favourite book 
  • write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and scrunch or tear it up 
  • listen to a song or watch a video you find uplifting 
  • write a comforting letter to the part of yourself that is feeling sad or alone 
  • cuddle a pet or a soft toy. 

See our page on self-care for depression for more tips. 

If you're feeling anxious, panicky or tense 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • make yourself a hot drink and drink it slowly, noticing the taste and smell, the shape of the mug and its weight in your hand 
  • take ten deep breaths, counting each one out loud 
  • write down everything you can think of about where you are right now, such as the time, date, colour of the walls and the furniture in the room 
  • take a warm bath or shower – this can help change your mood by creating a soothing atmosphere and a distracting physical sensation. 

See our page on self-care for anxiety and panic attacks for more tips. 

If you're feeling dissociative or spaced out 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • breathe slowly 
  • listen to sounds around you 
  • walk barefoot 
  • wrap yourself in a blanket and feel it around you 
  • eat or sniff something with a strong taste or smell. 

See our page on self-care for dissociative disorders for more tips. 

If you want to self-harm 

What you could do to get through it: 

  • stick sellotape or a plaster on your skin and peel it off 
  • hold ice cubes where you want to hurt yourself 
  • have a very cold shower. 

See our page on helping yourself cope with self-harm for more tips. 

"Not everyone finds the same things helpful. It's possible for people to find their own coping methods. Using techniques I don't find helpful is actually very distressing, as is being told I have to do them." 

What can I do in the longer-term? 

Taking some time to make your wellbeing a priority can make a big difference to how you're feeling. Here are some ideas: 

Talk to someone 

It can be hard to reach out to people when you are not feeling well, but sharing difficult thoughts can often make them seem a little easier to handle. If you don't feel comfortable talking to people around you, you could try contacting a helpline. 

For example, you can talk to The Samaritans Hong Kong (multilingual hotline: 2896 0000) or The Samaritan Befrienders Hong Kong (Chinese hotline: 2389 2222) for free about anything that’s upsetting you. See Mind HK’s Community Directory for more information about different helplines and services. 

Keep a mood diary 

Monitoring your moods will help you understand more about yourself and your mood patterns, and to recognise changes which might be hard to spot otherwise. Many people use mood diaries to do this. 

It's also helpful to identify the good things that you've done or have happened to you. It's important to practise being kind to yourself and note the positive steps you've taken or techniques that help. 

"Sometimes I have good periods where my symptoms don’t really trouble me – at other times, they can be overwhelming. It’s sometimes hard not to beat myself up for the relapses, but that’s something I need to keep working on. It’s ok to struggle sometimes." 

Plan for difficult times 

You might not always feel able to tell people how you're feeling or what help you need so it's a good idea to create a crisis plan that explains what you would like to happen in an emergency. 

This could include: 

  • who to contact 
  • what treatments you would like to have or avoid 
  • at what point you would like people to consider hospital treatment as an option. 

There are many different types of crisis plan.

Contact an advocate If you feel like you're not being listened to or treated fairly (such as when talking to doctors or accessing treatment) an advocate can help you have your voice heard.

For more ideas about caring for yourself when you're feeling unwell, see our pages on self-care for a mental health problem

Make a self-care box You might find it helpful to have some things that help you when you’re struggling that you can access easily – a bit like making a first-aid kit for your mental health. 

For example: 

  • favourite books, films or CDs 
  • a stress ball or fiddle toy for releasing agitation 
  • helpful quotes or notes of encouragement 
  • pictures or photos you find comforting 
  • a soft blanket or cuddly toy 
  • a nice-smelling candle or lavender bag. 

"I learned distraction techniques. My favourite one was my Positivity Book, which is kind of like a scrap book filled with things which make me happy." 

Find coping strategies for self-harm 

If you have a personality disorder, you may be self-harming as a way of dealing with very difficult feelings or overwhelming situations and experiences. 

See our pages on self-harm for other ways to help yourself cope. 

Try mindfulness or relaxation exercises 

This could help you to feel calmer and manage unhelpful thoughts. See our pages on mindfulness and relaxation tips for more information. 

"I learnt to be kind to myself and that life can be different if I put the work in. Some days I forget what it feels like to be positive and hopeful for the future, but I know it won’t last. I deserve to be happy and live a fulfilled life and I’m not about to let an illness take that away from me." 

Try peer support 

Talking to others with similar experiences to you can be helpful. Peer support gives people a chance to share their experience, give and receive support and hear and learn from others. There are lots of ways to find peer support. You could: 

  • try peer support services at NGOs and community centres, e.g. New Life.

Look after your physical health 

Your physical health can make a difference to how you feel emotionally so it's important to look after it wherever possible. For example, it can help to: 

  • Try to get enough sleep. Sleep can help give you the energy to cope with difficult feelings and experiences. Try to get to know and respect where your limits are and how much rest you need to feel well - take lots of extra rest if you need it. See our pages on coping with sleep problems for more information. 
  • Think about your diet. Eating regularly and healthily can make a difference to your mood and energy levels. See our pages on food and mood for more information. 
  • Try to do some physical activity. Exercise, including gentle exercise, can be really helpful for your mental wellbeing. It doesn't have to be anything vigorous, try a short walk or even some chair-based exercises. See our pages on physical activity for more information. 
  • Spend time outside. Spending time in green space can have lots of positive effects on your wellbeing. See our pages on nature and mental health for more information and ideas to try in nature
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol. While you might want to use drugs or alcohol as a distraction from difficult feelings, in the long run they can make you feel a lot worse and can prevent you from dealing with any underlying problems that the drug or alcohol use may have been masking. See our pages on recreational drugs and alcohol or the Hong Kong Jockey Club Drug Info Centre website for more information. 

Find specialist support for any social issues contributing to your distress 

Some people with personality disorders have had very difficult experiences which have contributed to their distress, such as abuse, bullying or discrimination. If you’ve experienced issues like these, it could be helpful to explore any help out there for these too. 

For example, if you have been abused in childhood, the Against Child Abuse website has some support services, and our pages on PTSD list other organisations that could help.