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Anger

Disclaimer:

This publication is based on a Mind UK publication and the original version may be found here: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/a-z-mental-health/

Thank you to Mind UK for sharing their valuable content with us. Content included in Mental Health A-Z is made available free of charge and does not form part of any commercial activity. The adaptation has been done independently by Mind HK and is intended for general information purposes only.

What can friends and family do? 

This section is for friends and family of someone who is experiencing problems with anger. 

It can be very difficult when someone you care about is experiencing problems with anger – especially if they sometimes direct their anger towards you, others close to them, or themselves. 

We are all responsible for our own actions, so ultimately it will be up to them to learn how to manage and express their anger appropriately. But there are still lots of things you can do to help support them: 

  • Stay calm. Although you probably have a lot of difficult feelings of your own, if you can stay calm it can help to stop anger escalating. 
  • Try to listen to them. If you can, allow them time to communicate their feelings without judging them. Often when someone feels that they are being listened to, they are more able to hear other people’s points of view as well. And sometimes just being given permission to communicate angry feelings can be enough to help someone calm down. 
  • Give them space. If you notice that continuing the conversation is making it worse, give them space to calm down and think. This could be something like going into another room for a while, or spending a few days apart. It’s important to give yourself space as well, so you don’t find yourself getting too angry. 
  • Set boundaries. While there are lots of reasons why this can be difficult, it’s important to set limits and boundaries. Be clear in advance about what sort of behaviour is and isn’t acceptable to you, and think about what action you can take if someone crosses the line. You don’t have to put up with any behaviour that makes you feel unsafe or seriously affects your own wellbeing. 
  • Help them identify their triggers. This is something you can try when you’re both feeling calm, away from any heated situation. Identifying someone’s triggers for anger can help you both think about ways you can avoid triggering situations, and plan how to handle them and how to communicate when they do arise. But try not to be judgemental, or accusatory. While it can be useful to give specific examples of when you remember them getting angry, be aware that this is probably upsetting for them to think about. 
  • Support them to seek professional help. For example, you could help them arrange to see their doctor, or help research anger management courses. See our pages on treatments for anger and supporting someone to seek help for their mental health for more information. 
  • Look after your own wellbeing. It can be difficult at times to support someone else, so make sure you’re looking after your own wellbeing too. (See our information on How to cope when supporting someone else for more on this.) 

“The worst thing is for people to tell me to calm down or say that whatever caused my anger doesn’t matter. People listening and accepting my feelings (even if my anger seems unprecedented) helps the most.” 

What if their behaviour is abusive or violent? 

Just because someone seems very angry, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will become violent or abusive. But if this does happen, the most important thing is to make sure that you are safe. 

  • Don’t confront someone who is behaving aggressively. If you want to talk to them, wait until the situation has calmed down. 
  • You may want to make a safety plan. This might include:
    • Making a list of phone numbers of people, organisations and services that you can call if you are scared.
    • Arranging to stay at a friend’s or neighbour’s house until things are calm. Make sure you take any children or other people at risk with you.
    • Having a bag prepared to leave in an emergency.
  • The Association concerning sexual violence against women: RainLily Sexual Violence Helpline is staffed with counsellors and trained female volunteers to assist victim-survivors of sexual violence and their supporters. Telephone: 2375 5322
  • The Hong Kong Federation of Women’s Centres Women’s Helpline 2386 6255
  • Rainbow of Hong Kong offers support to lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer people who’ve experienced domestic abuse on 2769 1069. 
  • You can call the police. If your safety is in danger – or the safety of others in your home, such as children – dial 999. You might feel worried about getting your loved one in trouble, but it’s important to always put your own safety first. 

“I need my family to speak to me honestly but remain understanding. We have code words that we all can use when I’m either being unreasonable or when I feel like I might lash out.” 

What if they don’t recognise they have a problem? 

You might find that the person you are supporting doesn’t recognise they have a problem and/or refuses to seek help. 

It’s understandable to feel frustrated, distressed and powerless as a result of this. But it’s important to accept that they are an individual, and that there are always limits to what you can do to support another person. 

(Our pages on helping someone seek help have more information on what you can and can’t do in this situation.) 

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What is iACT Service?

Improving Access to Community Therapies (iACT®) is one of the services from Mind HK. Trained Wellbeing Practitioners will offer initial assessment and early intervention for people dealing with mild to moderate symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other emotional difficulties.

 

The service includes 6-8 sessions of low-intensity psychological support, the flexibility of the service allows individuals to receive free and timely support when needed.

If you’re aged between 18 – 65 and are facing some emotional challenges, we would like to invite you to take an online assessment for us to gain a better understanding of your current emotional struggle.

 

If you’re eligible, we’ll get you connected with a Wellbeing Practitioner within two weeks to sort out the next steps.

The service runs for about 3 months and includes 6-8 support sessions, tailored to your needs.

 

We encourage you to attend all sessions and actively practice the tips and exercises provided by your Wellbeing Practitioner.

We take your privacy seriously. Your chats with the Wellbeing Practitioner are confidential.

 

We won’t share any of your info unless you’ve provided consent or if there are risks detected.

This programme isn’t suitable for people facing emergencies, major setbacks, or those diagnosed with serious or complex mental health conditions.

 

If you’re having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, this programme might not meet your needs, so please seek help right away. You can check out Mind HK’s “Find Help Now” page for immediate information and services.

Most of our Wellbeing Practitioners have backgrounds in psychology or counselling and are passionate about mental health. They’ve gone through about 140 hours of intensive training and completed at least 120 hours of supervised clinical practice over 9 months to ensure the quality of service.

 

They’re trained by accredited local experts in the mental health field, including clinical psychologists, counselling psychologists, counsellors, and psychiatrists. Plus, we regularly check how effective our services are. All service outputs and performances are subject to consistent monitoring.

Who is suitable for participating in this programme?

This programme welcomes anyone between the ages of 18 and 65 who may be feeling lost or facing emotional difficulties. Please note that this programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions.

This programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions, but suitable for those who experience mild to severe moderate anxiety, mild to moderate depression, or other emotional challenges. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

After signing up, our Wellbeing Practitioner will contact you within two weeks to schedule a convenient time for a 45-minute conversation, either via video or phone call, according to your preference. During the conversation, the Wellbeing Practitioner will understand your current situation and help you gain a better understanding of your emotional state based on the questionnaire you filled out during application. Additionally, they will provide recommendations for appropriate community resources based on your needs, helping you take an important first step in taking care of your mental health.

Although the intervention procedure is mostly standardised, Wellbeing Practitioners will work flexibly with clients to address individual presenting problems and unique characteristics.

Our Wellbeing Practitioners are trained to support people who experience mild to moderate mental health difficulties primarily. This programme is not suitable for the situations mentioned above. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

Your conversations with the Wellbeing Practitioner are absolutely confidential. Any information about you will not be shared with anyone without your consent unless you or others are at immediate risk or the Wellbeing Practitioner has reason to believe that you may be in imminent danger.
Supervisors will monitor trainees’ development throughout the placement to ensure that they are meeting the required level of competency to pass the training course at the end of the placement.

Yes, it is necessary to book an appointment in advance by filling out the form. Additionally, you can select one of the five stores yourself. We will allocate clients to different Wellbeing Practitioners based on their chosen location.

Before having the conversation, we will ask you to fill out a basic questionnaire for preliminary screening assessment. This screening process aims to ensure that the training received by the Wellbeing Practitioners is sufficient to meet the needs of the individuals receiving the service. If it is determined after the screening assessment that the service is not suitable for you, Mind HK will provide alternative recommendations to ensure your safety and support.

For adults who are suitable for this service, all Wellbeing Practitioners have received training on how to identify and respond to safety and risk issues. If you have any concerns about the support process, the Wellbeing Practitioners have appropriate measures in place and will develop response plans based on the urgency of the situation. They can also access support from clinical practitioners from Mind HK or participating organisations.

What private training does Mind HK provide?

Mind HK provides 4 themes of mental health training, including: Supporting Self, Supporting Others, Family Wellbeing and DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion).

 

Check out the brochure here for more information.

Mind HK provides a wide range of standardised mental health training, which can be tailored to different circumstances. Chat with our team to explore more! 

Our trainers come from a diverse, accredited pool of clinically experienced professionals. Check out our trainers’ biographies here.

Yes, the Mental Health First Aid class of Mind HK is internationally accredited by the MHFA International. The content and certification is delivered by trainers certified from the Mental Health Association of Hong Kong. You can find out our trainers accreditation here.

We are here to support your mental health education journey! Reach out to us and chat with our team.

What can friends and family do?

What can friends and family do? 

This section is for friends and family of someone who is experiencing problems with anger. 

It can be very difficult when someone you care about is experiencing problems with anger – especially if they sometimes direct their anger towards you, others close to them, or themselves. 

We are all responsible for our own actions, so ultimately it will be up to them to learn how to manage and express their anger appropriately. But there are still lots of things you can do to help support them: 

  • Stay calm. Although you probably have a lot of difficult feelings of your own, if you can stay calm it can help to stop anger escalating. 
  • Try to listen to them. If you can, allow them time to communicate their feelings without judging them. Often when someone feels that they are being listened to, they are more able to hear other people's points of view as well. And sometimes just being given permission to communicate angry feelings can be enough to help someone calm down. 
  • Give them space. If you notice that continuing the conversation is making it worse, give them space to calm down and think. This could be something like going into another room for a while, or spending a few days apart. It's important to give yourself space as well, so you don't find yourself getting too angry. 
  • Set boundaries. While there are lots of reasons why this can be difficult, it's important to set limits and boundaries. Be clear in advance about what sort of behaviour is and isn't acceptable to you, and think about what action you can take if someone crosses the line. You don't have to put up with any behaviour that makes you feel unsafe or seriously affects your own wellbeing. 
  • Help them identify their triggers. This is something you can try when you're both feeling calm, away from any heated situation. Identifying someone's triggers for anger can help you both think about ways you can avoid triggering situations, and plan how to handle them and how to communicate when they do arise. But try not to be judgemental, or accusatory. While it can be useful to give specific examples of when you remember them getting angry, be aware that this is probably upsetting for them to think about. 
  • Support them to seek professional help. For example, you could help them arrange to see their doctor, or help research anger management courses. See our pages on treatments for anger and supporting someone to seek help for their mental health for more information. 
  • Look after your own wellbeing. It can be difficult at times to support someone else, so make sure you're looking after your own wellbeing too. (See our information on How to cope when supporting someone else for more on this.) 

“The worst thing is for people to tell me to calm down or say that whatever caused my anger doesn't matter. People listening and accepting my feelings (even if my anger seems unprecedented) helps the most.” 

What if their behaviour is abusive or violent? 

Just because someone seems very angry, it doesn't necessarily mean that they will become violent or abusive. But if this does happen, the most important thing is to make sure that you are safe. 

  • Don't confront someone who is behaving aggressively. If you want to talk to them, wait until the situation has calmed down. 
  • You may want to make a safety plan. This might include:
    • Making a list of phone numbers of people, organisations and services that you can call if you are scared.
    • Arranging to stay at a friend’s or neighbour’s house until things are calm. Make sure you take any children or other people at risk with you.
    • Having a bag prepared to leave in an emergency.
  • The Association concerning sexual violence against women: RainLily Sexual Violence Helpline is staffed with counsellors and trained female volunteers to assist victim-survivors of sexual violence and their supporters. Telephone: 2375 5322
  • The Hong Kong Federation of Women's Centres Women's Helpline 2386 6255
  • Rainbow of Hong Kong offers support to lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer people who've experienced domestic abuse on 2769 1069. 
  • You can call the police. If your safety is in danger – or the safety of others in your home, such as children – dial 999. You might feel worried about getting your loved one in trouble, but it's important to always put your own safety first. 

“I need my family to speak to me honestly but remain understanding. We have code words that we all can use when I'm either being unreasonable or when I feel like I might lash out.” 

What if they don't recognise they have a problem? 

You might find that the person you are supporting doesn't recognise they have a problem and/or refuses to seek help. 

It's understandable to feel frustrated, distressed and powerless as a result of this. But it’s important to accept that they are an individual, and that there are always limits to what you can do to support another person. 

(Our pages on helping someone seek help have more information on what you can and can't do in this situation.)