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Disclaimer:

This publication is based on a Mind UK publication and the original version may be found here: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/a-z-mental-health/

Thank you to Mind UK for sharing their valuable content with us. Content included in Mental Health A-Z is made available free of charge and does not form part of any commercial activity. The adaptation has been done independently by Mind HK and is intended for general information purposes only.

How can I look after myself?

When you are a carer you spend a lot of your time focusing on someone else. It can feel unnatural to think about yourself and your needs. But it’s important that you look after your own wellbeing too. Taking positive steps to look after yourself can help you avoid physical and mental health problems. If you are able to stay well, you are more likely to be able to provide good support for longer, without getting too overwhelmed. So looking after your wellbeing is good for you and the person you care for. Here are some ideas about how to do this.

Try to stay healthy

If you are really busy, you might not always feel you have time to focus on looking after yourself. But it’s important that you make time to look after your physical health, and there are lots of things you can do to improve it. For example:

  • Eat healthily – try to eat regular meals, with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. It may help to plan your meals and make extra portions that you can keep for when time is short. If you find you forget to eat, try sticking a reminder on your fridge, or an alarm on your phone. (See Mind UK’s leaflet Food and Mood for more information.)
  • Get enough rest – lack of sleep can make it more difficult to cope with day-to-day challenges, and make stress and depression worse. There are lots of positive steps you can take to improve your sleep. You may find that you need to change your sleep pattern, for example sleeping for four hours twice a day, rather than trying to get eight hours, sleep every night. This could help you feel less worried about not getting enough sleep. (See Mind’s booklet How to cope with sleep problems for more information.)
  • Do regular physical activity – even a short walk can be good exercise and can help you clear your head. If you struggle to get going on your own, you could join a class. If you find it hard to make time for exercise, try to build it into your daily routine, for example by walking to work rather than taking a taxi. (See Mind’s booklet Mind tips for better mental health: physical activity for more information.
  • Look after your general health and wellbeing – take time to notice when you are becoming unwell and try to take a break. For example, if you tend to develop cold-like symptoms when you are getting ill, take a break next time you notice that you feel this way. (See Mind’s booklet How to improve and maintain your mental wellbeing for more information.)

Share your feelings with someone you trust

It can be really important to have someone to talk to, especially if you’re struggling to cope. Think about the people in your life you can turn to for support. You may have a family member who helps you relax, or a friend who is good at taking your mind off things.

You may find it hard to ask for help or tell people how you’re feeling. Time to Change has some ideas about how you can start the conversation (see ‘Useful contacts’). If you don’t have time to meet up with people, you could try to stay in touch by email or text, or use online video chat.

Learn a relaxation technique

Using relaxation techniques can help you feel more rested. They can also help you make time for yourself. Most of the techniques here can be practised for a few minutes a day, so they don’t have to take lots of time if you’re struggling to make space for activities.

Yoga, meditation and mindfulness are all techniques you can use to relax and to help switch off from your caring role. Search online for a yoga or guided meditation class in your area. If you can’t go to a class, you can find videos and websites with instructions online. Mindfulness is a therapeutic technique that involves paying attention in a deliberate way.

Take a break

Try to take a break when you need it, especially if you are worried about your own mental health. Having some time away from caring can help you feel refreshed, and enable you to manage your own mental health.

It can be hard to make a decision about when to take a break, especially if you feel guilty or worried about what will happen to the person you care for while you’re not there. You may feel more able to take a break if you ensure that the person you care for knows what to expect and has any other support they need. This may mean asking the person you care for to find ways to cope without you for a while, or arranging for family and friends to help cover your caring responsibilities. If you need some help to organise a break, you could find out more about respite care or ask your local social services such as district Integrated Community Centre for Mental Wellness (ICCMW) for support.

The length of your break will depend on how you are feeling. You may only need an hour or two to clear your head, or a day to help you feel more rested. You could go out, take a bath or turn your phone off for an agreed period of time.

It may be helpful to build a regular break into your routine. This can help you make plans in advance, give you something to look forward to and ensure that the person you care for knows what to expect.

You may find that you need a longer break, especially if you are worried you might be becoming unwell. At this stage, you may want to think about respite care (see ‘Respite care’ under ‘Support for you’).

Make time for yourself

Spending quality time with your partner, family or friends can give you a break from your caring responsibilities, help you stay positive and boost your confidence. Try to make time for the things that you enjoy, for example going for a coffee or a short walk.

Take time to pursue hobbies and activities that interest you or make you feel fulfilled. Try to do something regularly, like taking a yoga class or going to the cinema with a friend.

 “I get up half an hour early to do my own thing and start the day as I like to.”

Try to be organized

Finding a way to feel in control of your responsibilities can help you manage feelings of stress and anxiety. You could:

  • Make a schedule or planner – keeping a schedule of the key parts of your day-to-day routine, such as bathing, cooking or taking children to school, can be very helpful. You could also plan in more detail, for example, by keeping shopping lists and a schedule of meals if cooking is part of your role as a carer.
  • Keep important information in one place – for example, emergency contact details and information about medication (see ‘Self-help resources’). You could make sure someone else (such as a social worker, friend or family member) also knows where this information is kept in case it is needed when you are unwell or not at home.

Be realistic about what you can do

It’s important to be realistic about what you can do. If you take on too much, you may feel like you never get to finish or achieve anything. You may want to make the person you care for better or take away the impact of their illness, and feel very upset that you can’t. This can lead to stress, anxiety, guilt or low self-esteem. Having a clear idea about what you can do, and accepting parts that you can’t change or do alone, helps to reduce this stress and can make you feel more able to cope.

You might find it helpful to:

  • Make a list of the kind of support the person you care for needs – this helps to identify what needs doing and can give you a clearer idea of how much support the person you care for needs
  • Identify what you can do, and what you need help with. Work out a plan with the person you care for about who will provide the care you can’t. For example, you may need medical support or some professional care.
  • Think about how you will be able to tell when things are getting too much and you need a break. For example, you may struggle to sleep when you’re feeling low and this could be something you notice as a sign that you need a break. You could write these signs down as you may also want to share them with someone you trust and ask them to let you know if they recognise that you are becoming too stressed and need a break

Make sure you have all the information you need

Making sure you have access to reliable, clear information can help you feel more in control. This could be medical information about any diagnoses the person you care for has, or advice about your rights. If you’re not sure where to find this, looking online or asking your doctor are both good starting points. Plan for appointments and take notes of things you want to talk about. This will help you remember what you want to say and to get the information you feel you need.

Medical language can be really complicated, so don’t be afraid to ask for further explanations if you don’t understand.

Information about medical treatment

“The person I am caring for wants me to know about their treatment. “

Make sure that the person you care for has told any medical professionals, social workers and support staff that they are happy for you to have access to your medical information. You could ask for a note to be put on any records confirming that you have permission to see them.

 

“The person I am caring for does not want me to know about their treatment.”

If the person you are caring for does not consent to you receiving information about their treatment, you may still be able to receive general information. For example, a doctor may give you information about a health problem, but not specific details of the treatment that is being offered.

It’s important that you are given the information you need to provide care safely and effectively. If you are concerned that you or the person you care for will be put at risk because you do not have essential information, you should raise this concern with any medical staff involved. They will agreement of the person you are caring for.

Find positives in your relationship

Being a carer can have a big impact on the relationship you have with the person you support. Sometimes you may feel very close and connected, while at other times you may feel distant or irritated with each other. It can help to talk openly and honestly to find ways of coping with these challenges together.

For example, you could try to:

  • Talk to each other about how you will strengthen and maintain positive parts of your relationship
  • See each other as whole people, with interests, characteristics and hobbies
  • Think of yourself not only as their carer but also as their friend, partner or family member
  • Try to do nice things together, as well as carrying out day-to-day responsibilities – this will help maintain your relationship outside of being a carer, and help you connect on a different level
  • Think about what you get out of caring, and write down a list of positive things that you can look at when you are feeling frustrated or low
  • Recognise practical and specialist skills and knowledge you have gained, or people you have met that you wouldn’t otherwise get to know

Focusing on these positives can help you feel that you have a deeper relationship and understanding of the person you care for, and appreciate that they may feel this way about you too.

“I would urge anyone who is a carer to try to see the positives in your situation and to realise you are there out of love and respect for the person you are caring for.”

Support the independence of the person you care for

Work with the person you care for to see how they can help themselves. Together you may be able to enable the person you care for to make some decisions about their care on their own, and identify times they can cope on their own. It is important to try to respect the opinion of the person you care for and help them have some control over their care. This could mean making sure their wishes are expressed to doctors, or letting them try activities on their own. You may find that this means taking a step back, or supporting decisions that are not what you would do. But this could help the person you are caring for feel respected and in control.

You may also find it helpful to talk about what support they would like from you. This may change over time, so it’s worth revisiting this conversation.

Make a crisis plan

If you are concerned about what would happen if you become unwell, having a crisis plan in place can help to reduce stress (see ‘Self-help resources’).

Thinking about the following things when you are well can help you feel prepared for a crisis:

  • Discuss what will happen in an emergency with the person you care for, and agree on a plan with friends, family or paid care workers
  • Write a list of who should be contacted in the event of an emergency and keep it somewhere easily accessible
  • Leave details about your caring responsibilities, such as medication you normally give and ongoing treatment the person you care for is having, and make sure someone else knows where this information is. This could be a friend, family member or health or social care professional
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What is iACT Service?

Improving Access to Community Therapies (iACT®) is one of the services from Mind HK. Trained Wellbeing Practitioners will offer initial assessment and early intervention for people dealing with mild to moderate symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other emotional difficulties.

 

The service includes 6-8 sessions of low-intensity psychological support, the flexibility of the service allows individuals to receive free and timely support when needed.

If you’re aged between 18 – 65 and are facing some emotional challenges, we would like to invite you to take an online assessment for us to gain a better understanding of your current emotional struggle.

 

If you’re eligible, we’ll get you connected with a Wellbeing Practitioner within two weeks to sort out the next steps.

The service runs for about 3 months and includes 6-8 support sessions, tailored to your needs.

 

We encourage you to attend all sessions and actively practice the tips and exercises provided by your Wellbeing Practitioner.

We take your privacy seriously. Your chats with the Wellbeing Practitioner are confidential.

 

We won’t share any of your info unless you’ve provided consent or if there are risks detected.

This programme isn’t suitable for people facing emergencies, major setbacks, or those diagnosed with serious or complex mental health conditions.

 

If you’re having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, this programme might not meet your needs, so please seek help right away. You can check out Mind HK’s “Find Help Now” page for immediate information and services.

Most of our Wellbeing Practitioners have backgrounds in psychology or counselling and are passionate about mental health. They’ve gone through about 140 hours of intensive training and completed at least 120 hours of supervised clinical practice over 9 months to ensure the quality of service.

 

They’re trained by accredited local experts in the mental health field, including clinical psychologists, counselling psychologists, counsellors, and psychiatrists. Plus, we regularly check how effective our services are. All service outputs and performances are subject to consistent monitoring.

Who is suitable for participating in this programme?

This programme welcomes anyone between the ages of 18 and 65 who may be feeling lost or facing emotional difficulties. Please note that this programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions.

This programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions, but suitable for those who experience mild to severe moderate anxiety, mild to moderate depression, or other emotional challenges. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

After signing up, our Wellbeing Practitioner will contact you within two weeks to schedule a convenient time for a 45-minute conversation, either via video or phone call, according to your preference. During the conversation, the Wellbeing Practitioner will understand your current situation and help you gain a better understanding of your emotional state based on the questionnaire you filled out during application. Additionally, they will provide recommendations for appropriate community resources based on your needs, helping you take an important first step in taking care of your mental health.

Although the intervention procedure is mostly standardised, Wellbeing Practitioners will work flexibly with clients to address individual presenting problems and unique characteristics.

Our Wellbeing Practitioners are trained to support people who experience mild to moderate mental health difficulties primarily. This programme is not suitable for the situations mentioned above. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

Your conversations with the Wellbeing Practitioner are absolutely confidential. Any information about you will not be shared with anyone without your consent unless you or others are at immediate risk or the Wellbeing Practitioner has reason to believe that you may be in imminent danger.
Supervisors will monitor trainees’ development throughout the placement to ensure that they are meeting the required level of competency to pass the training course at the end of the placement.

Yes, it is necessary to book an appointment in advance by filling out the form. Additionally, you can select one of the five stores yourself. We will allocate clients to different Wellbeing Practitioners based on their chosen location.

Before having the conversation, we will ask you to fill out a basic questionnaire for preliminary screening assessment. This screening process aims to ensure that the training received by the Wellbeing Practitioners is sufficient to meet the needs of the individuals receiving the service. If it is determined after the screening assessment that the service is not suitable for you, Mind HK will provide alternative recommendations to ensure your safety and support.

For adults who are suitable for this service, all Wellbeing Practitioners have received training on how to identify and respond to safety and risk issues. If you have any concerns about the support process, the Wellbeing Practitioners have appropriate measures in place and will develop response plans based on the urgency of the situation. They can also access support from clinical practitioners from Mind HK or participating organisations.

What private training does Mind HK provide?

Mind HK provides 4 themes of mental health training, including: Supporting Self, Supporting Others, Family Wellbeing and DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion).

 

Check out the brochure here for more information.

Mind HK provides a wide range of standardised mental health training, which can be tailored to different circumstances. Chat with our team to explore more! 

Our trainers come from a diverse, accredited pool of clinically experienced professionals. Check out our trainers’ biographies here.

Yes, the Mental Health First Aid class of Mind HK is internationally accredited by the MHFA International. The content and certification is delivered by trainers certified from the Mental Health Association of Hong Kong. You can find out our trainers accreditation here.

We are here to support your mental health education journey! Reach out to us and chat with our team.

Looking after yourself

How can I look after myself?

When you are a carer you spend a lot of your time focusing on someone else. It can feel unnatural to think about yourself and your needs. But it’s important that you look after your own wellbeing too. Taking positive steps to look after yourself can help you avoid physical and mental health problems. If you are able to stay well, you are more likely to be able to provide good support for longer, without getting too overwhelmed. So looking after your wellbeing is good for you and the person you care for. Here are some ideas about how to do this.

Try to stay healthy

If you are really busy, you might not always feel you have time to focus on looking after yourself. But it’s important that you make time to look after your physical health, and there are lots of things you can do to improve it. For example:

  • Eat healthily – try to eat regular meals, with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. It may help to plan your meals and make extra portions that you can keep for when time is short. If you find you forget to eat, try sticking a reminder on your fridge, or an alarm on your phone. (See Mind UK’s leaflet Food and Mood for more information.)
  • Get enough rest – lack of sleep can make it more difficult to cope with day-to-day challenges, and make stress and depression worse. There are lots of positive steps you can take to improve your sleep. You may find that you need to change your sleep pattern, for example sleeping for four hours twice a day, rather than trying to get eight hours, sleep every night. This could help you feel less worried about not getting enough sleep. (See Mind’s booklet How to cope with sleep problems for more information.)
  • Do regular physical activity – even a short walk can be good exercise and can help you clear your head. If you struggle to get going on your own, you could join a class. If you find it hard to make time for exercise, try to build it into your daily routine, for example by walking to work rather than taking a taxi. (See Mind’s booklet Mind tips for better mental health: physical activity for more information.
  • Look after your general health and wellbeing – take time to notice when you are becoming unwell and try to take a break. For example, if you tend to develop cold-like symptoms when you are getting ill, take a break next time you notice that you feel this way. (See Mind’s booklet How to improve and maintain your mental wellbeing for more information.)

Share your feelings with someone you trust

It can be really important to have someone to talk to, especially if you’re struggling to cope. Think about the people in your life you can turn to for support. You may have a family member who helps you relax, or a friend who is good at taking your mind off things.

You may find it hard to ask for help or tell people how you’re feeling. Time to Change has some ideas about how you can start the conversation (see ‘Useful contacts’). If you don’t have time to meet up with people, you could try to stay in touch by email or text, or use online video chat.

Learn a relaxation technique

Using relaxation techniques can help you feel more rested. They can also help you make time for yourself. Most of the techniques here can be practised for a few minutes a day, so they don’t have to take lots of time if you’re struggling to make space for activities.

Yoga, meditation and mindfulness are all techniques you can use to relax and to help switch off from your caring role. Search online for a yoga or guided meditation class in your area. If you can’t go to a class, you can find videos and websites with instructions online. Mindfulness is a therapeutic technique that involves paying attention in a deliberate way.

Take a break

Try to take a break when you need it, especially if you are worried about your own mental health. Having some time away from caring can help you feel refreshed, and enable you to manage your own mental health.

It can be hard to make a decision about when to take a break, especially if you feel guilty or worried about what will happen to the person you care for while you’re not there. You may feel more able to take a break if you ensure that the person you care for knows what to expect and has any other support they need. This may mean asking the person you care for to find ways to cope without you for a while, or arranging for family and friends to help cover your caring responsibilities. If you need some help to organise a break, you could find out more about respite care or ask your local social services such as district Integrated Community Centre for Mental Wellness (ICCMW) for support.

The length of your break will depend on how you are feeling. You may only need an hour or two to clear your head, or a day to help you feel more rested. You could go out, take a bath or turn your phone off for an agreed period of time.

It may be helpful to build a regular break into your routine. This can help you make plans in advance, give you something to look forward to and ensure that the person you care for knows what to expect.

You may find that you need a longer break, especially if you are worried you might be becoming unwell. At this stage, you may want to think about respite care (see ‘Respite care’ under ‘Support for you’).

Make time for yourself

Spending quality time with your partner, family or friends can give you a break from your caring responsibilities, help you stay positive and boost your confidence. Try to make time for the things that you enjoy, for example going for a coffee or a short walk.

Take time to pursue hobbies and activities that interest you or make you feel fulfilled. Try to do something regularly, like taking a yoga class or going to the cinema with a friend.

 “I get up half an hour early to do my own thing and start the day as I like to.”

Try to be organized

Finding a way to feel in control of your responsibilities can help you manage feelings of stress and anxiety. You could:

  • Make a schedule or planner – keeping a schedule of the key parts of your day-to-day routine, such as bathing, cooking or taking children to school, can be very helpful. You could also plan in more detail, for example, by keeping shopping lists and a schedule of meals if cooking is part of your role as a carer.
  • Keep important information in one place – for example, emergency contact details and information about medication (see ‘Self-help resources’). You could make sure someone else (such as a social worker, friend or family member) also knows where this information is kept in case it is needed when you are unwell or not at home.

Be realistic about what you can do

It’s important to be realistic about what you can do. If you take on too much, you may feel like you never get to finish or achieve anything. You may want to make the person you care for better or take away the impact of their illness, and feel very upset that you can’t. This can lead to stress, anxiety, guilt or low self-esteem. Having a clear idea about what you can do, and accepting parts that you can’t change or do alone, helps to reduce this stress and can make you feel more able to cope.

You might find it helpful to:

  • Make a list of the kind of support the person you care for needs – this helps to identify what needs doing and can give you a clearer idea of how much support the person you care for needs
  • Identify what you can do, and what you need help with. Work out a plan with the person you care for about who will provide the care you can’t. For example, you may need medical support or some professional care.
  • Think about how you will be able to tell when things are getting too much and you need a break. For example, you may struggle to sleep when you’re feeling low and this could be something you notice as a sign that you need a break. You could write these signs down as you may also want to share them with someone you trust and ask them to let you know if they recognise that you are becoming too stressed and need a break

Make sure you have all the information you need

Making sure you have access to reliable, clear information can help you feel more in control. This could be medical information about any diagnoses the person you care for has, or advice about your rights. If you’re not sure where to find this, looking online or asking your doctor are both good starting points. Plan for appointments and take notes of things you want to talk about. This will help you remember what you want to say and to get the information you feel you need.

Medical language can be really complicated, so don’t be afraid to ask for further explanations if you don’t understand.

Information about medical treatment

“The person I am caring for wants me to know about their treatment. “

Make sure that the person you care for has told any medical professionals, social workers and support staff that they are happy for you to have access to your medical information. You could ask for a note to be put on any records confirming that you have permission to see them.

 

“The person I am caring for does not want me to know about their treatment.”

If the person you are caring for does not consent to you receiving information about their treatment, you may still be able to receive general information. For example, a doctor may give you information about a health problem, but not specific details of the treatment that is being offered.

It’s important that you are given the information you need to provide care safely and effectively. If you are concerned that you or the person you care for will be put at risk because you do not have essential information, you should raise this concern with any medical staff involved. They will agreement of the person you are caring for.

Find positives in your relationship

Being a carer can have a big impact on the relationship you have with the person you support. Sometimes you may feel very close and connected, while at other times you may feel distant or irritated with each other. It can help to talk openly and honestly to find ways of coping with these challenges together.

For example, you could try to:

  • Talk to each other about how you will strengthen and maintain positive parts of your relationship
  • See each other as whole people, with interests, characteristics and hobbies
  • Think of yourself not only as their carer but also as their friend, partner or family member
  • Try to do nice things together, as well as carrying out day-to-day responsibilities – this will help maintain your relationship outside of being a carer, and help you connect on a different level
  • Think about what you get out of caring, and write down a list of positive things that you can look at when you are feeling frustrated or low
  • Recognise practical and specialist skills and knowledge you have gained, or people you have met that you wouldn’t otherwise get to know

Focusing on these positives can help you feel that you have a deeper relationship and understanding of the person you care for, and appreciate that they may feel this way about you too.

“I would urge anyone who is a carer to try to see the positives in your situation and to realise you are there out of love and respect for the person you are caring for.”

Support the independence of the person you care for

Work with the person you care for to see how they can help themselves. Together you may be able to enable the person you care for to make some decisions about their care on their own, and identify times they can cope on their own. It is important to try to respect the opinion of the person you care for and help them have some control over their care. This could mean making sure their wishes are expressed to doctors, or letting them try activities on their own. You may find that this means taking a step back, or supporting decisions that are not what you would do. But this could help the person you are caring for feel respected and in control.

You may also find it helpful to talk about what support they would like from you. This may change over time, so it’s worth revisiting this conversation.

Make a crisis plan

If you are concerned about what would happen if you become unwell, having a crisis plan in place can help to reduce stress (see ‘Self-help resources’).

Thinking about the following things when you are well can help you feel prepared for a crisis:

  • Discuss what will happen in an emergency with the person you care for, and agree on a plan with friends, family or paid care workers
  • Write a list of who should be contacted in the event of an emergency and keep it somewhere easily accessible
  • Leave details about your caring responsibilities, such as medication you normally give and ongoing treatment the person you care for is having, and make sure someone else knows where this information is. This could be a friend, family member or health or social care professional