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Anger

Disclaimer:

This publication is based on a Mind UK publication and the original version may be found here: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/a-z-mental-health/

Thank you to Mind UK for sharing their valuable content with us. Content included in Mental Health A-Z is made available free of charge and does not form part of any commercial activity. The adaptation has been done independently by Mind HK and is intended for general information purposes only.

How can I control my anger long term? 

If you think about how to manage your anger when you’re feeling calmer, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed by it in the heat of the moment. In particular, you can: 

  • learn your triggers 
  • examine your thought patterns 
  • develop your communication skills 
  • look at your lifestyle 

Learn your triggers 

Understanding what sort of situations trigger your anger means you can develop strategies to cope and think about how to react before the situation happens. You might find it helpful to keep a diary or make notes about the times you have felt angry. You could record: 

  • What were the circumstances? 
  • Did someone say or do something to trigger your anger? 
  • How did you feel? 
  • How did you behave? 
  • How did you feel afterwards? 

If you do this for a while, you might start to see patterns emerging. You could do this yourself using a mood diary (many are available online for free, see our useful contacts page for suggestions), or you could find a professional therapist to help you – see our page on treatment and support. 

“Over time I have been able to spot certain triggers, which then enables me to look at myself and choose a healthier path.” 

Examine your thought patterns 

If you’re feeling upset or angry, you might find yourself automatically thinking or saying things like: 

  • “This is all their fault.” 
  • “They never listen.” 
  • “This always happens to me.” 
  • “Other people should behave better.” 

But often there are lots of different ways we could interpret a situation. It can make you feel worse if you think in terms of ‘always’, ‘never’ and ‘should’, because in reality things are rarely so black and white. Making an effort to replace these words with softer terms like ‘sometimes’ or ‘could’ when thinking about your situation might help you to break up negative thought patterns, reflect more calmly on your situation and find new ways through conflicts. 

“The best advice I was given was to stop briefly once I am angry to ask myself what painful emotion I am feeling in the situation where I became angry. A bit of compassion for my own pain often stops me from taking that pain out on others.” 

Develop your communication skills 

Being excessively angry and aggressive can get in the way of communicating your feelings and thoughts effectively. People may focus on your anger, and find it hard to listen to what you’re saying. On the other hand, if you are able to express your anger by talking in an assertive, respectful way about what has made you angry, then you’re more likely to be understood by others. 

Being assertive means standing up for yourself while still respecting other people and their opinions. It can: 

  • make communication easier 
  • stop tense situations getting out of control 
  • benefit your relationships and self-esteem 

Learning to be assertive might not feel easy to start with, but here are some things to try: 

  • Think about the outcome you want to achieve. What’s making you angry, and what do you want to change? Is it enough just to explain what you are angry about? 
  • Be specific. For example, you could open your statement with, “I feel angry with you because…” Using the phrase ‘I feel’ avoids blaming anyone and the other person is less likely to feel attacked. 
  • Really listen to the other person’s response and try to understand their point of view. 
  • Be prepared for the conversation to go wrong and try to spot when this is happening. If you feel yourself getting angry, you might want to come back to the conversation another time. 

The organisation MindTools provides tips on respectful assertiveness on their website. 

“What helps me is acknowledging how I’m feeling and why, then taking time to address it productively.” 

Look at your lifestyle 

Looking after your wellbeing more generally could help you feel calmer and more in control when things happen that make you feel angry. You might want to: 

  • Avoid drugs and alcohol. Although you might feel this could help you cope in the short term, alcohol and drugs can both affect your ability to control your emotions and actions, and can be a factor in violence. For information and support to stop using drugs or alcohol you can contact Alcoholics Anonymous Hong Kong.
  • Be more active. Being active can help let out any tension you’re feeling, as well as having benefits to your self-esteem. Even gentle exercise like going for a walk can make a difference. See our pages on exercise for more information. 
  • Get good sleep. Not sleeping well can have a huge impact on how we’re feeling, and how well we cope with things that happen to us. See our pages on sleep problems for more information. 
  • Look at what you’re eating and drinking. See our pages on food and mood for more information. 
  • Learn to deal with pressure. We can feel pressured or stressed for lots of different reasons, but taking some time to learn how to deal with pressure can help us feel more in control of difficult situations. See our page on dealing with pressure for more information. 
  • Develop your emotional resilience. Emotional resilience helps us feel more able to handle difficult emotions. 

“Exercise is the best thing to manage my anger. It transforms my mood!”

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What is iACT Service?

Improving Access to Community Therapies (iACT®) is one of the services from Mind HK. Trained Wellbeing Practitioners will offer initial assessment and early intervention for people dealing with mild to moderate symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other emotional difficulties.

 

The service includes 6-8 sessions of low-intensity psychological support, the flexibility of the service allows individuals to receive free and timely support when needed.

If you’re aged between 18 – 65 and are facing some emotional challenges, we would like to invite you to take an online assessment for us to gain a better understanding of your current emotional struggle.

 

If you’re eligible, we’ll get you connected with a Wellbeing Practitioner within two weeks to sort out the next steps.

The service runs for about 3 months and includes 6-8 support sessions, tailored to your needs.

 

We encourage you to attend all sessions and actively practice the tips and exercises provided by your Wellbeing Practitioner.

We take your privacy seriously. Your chats with the Wellbeing Practitioner are confidential.

 

We won’t share any of your info unless you’ve provided consent or if there are risks detected.

This programme isn’t suitable for people facing emergencies, major setbacks, or those diagnosed with serious or complex mental health conditions.

 

If you’re having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, this programme might not meet your needs, so please seek help right away. You can check out Mind HK’s “Find Help Now” page for immediate information and services.

Most of our Wellbeing Practitioners have backgrounds in psychology or counselling and are passionate about mental health. They’ve gone through about 140 hours of intensive training and completed at least 120 hours of supervised clinical practice over 9 months to ensure the quality of service.

 

They’re trained by accredited local experts in the mental health field, including clinical psychologists, counselling psychologists, counsellors, and psychiatrists. Plus, we regularly check how effective our services are. All service outputs and performances are subject to consistent monitoring.

Who is suitable for participating in this programme?

This programme welcomes anyone between the ages of 18 and 65 who may be feeling lost or facing emotional difficulties. Please note that this programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions.

This programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions, but suitable for those who experience mild to severe moderate anxiety, mild to moderate depression, or other emotional challenges. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

After signing up, our Wellbeing Practitioner will contact you within two weeks to schedule a convenient time for a 45-minute conversation, either via video or phone call, according to your preference. During the conversation, the Wellbeing Practitioner will understand your current situation and help you gain a better understanding of your emotional state based on the questionnaire you filled out during application. Additionally, they will provide recommendations for appropriate community resources based on your needs, helping you take an important first step in taking care of your mental health.

Although the intervention procedure is mostly standardised, Wellbeing Practitioners will work flexibly with clients to address individual presenting problems and unique characteristics.

Our Wellbeing Practitioners are trained to support people who experience mild to moderate mental health difficulties primarily. This programme is not suitable for the situations mentioned above. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

Your conversations with the Wellbeing Practitioner are absolutely confidential. Any information about you will not be shared with anyone without your consent unless you or others are at immediate risk or the Wellbeing Practitioner has reason to believe that you may be in imminent danger.
Supervisors will monitor trainees’ development throughout the placement to ensure that they are meeting the required level of competency to pass the training course at the end of the placement.

Yes, it is necessary to book an appointment in advance by filling out the form. Additionally, you can select one of the five stores yourself. We will allocate clients to different Wellbeing Practitioners based on their chosen location.

Before having the conversation, we will ask you to fill out a basic questionnaire for preliminary screening assessment. This screening process aims to ensure that the training received by the Wellbeing Practitioners is sufficient to meet the needs of the individuals receiving the service. If it is determined after the screening assessment that the service is not suitable for you, Mind HK will provide alternative recommendations to ensure your safety and support.

For adults who are suitable for this service, all Wellbeing Practitioners have received training on how to identify and respond to safety and risk issues. If you have any concerns about the support process, the Wellbeing Practitioners have appropriate measures in place and will develop response plans based on the urgency of the situation. They can also access support from clinical practitioners from Mind HK or participating organisations.

What private training does Mind HK provide?

Mind HK provides 4 themes of mental health training, including: Supporting Self, Supporting Others, Family Wellbeing and DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion).

 

Check out the brochure here for more information.

Mind HK provides a wide range of standardised mental health training, which can be tailored to different circumstances. Chat with our team to explore more! 

Our trainers come from a diverse, accredited pool of clinically experienced professionals. Check out our trainers’ biographies here.

Yes, the Mental Health First Aid class of Mind HK is internationally accredited by the MHFA International. The content and certification is delivered by trainers certified from the Mental Health Association of Hong Kong. You can find out our trainers accreditation here.

We are here to support your mental health education journey! Reach out to us and chat with our team.

How can I control my anger long term?

How can I control my anger long term? 

If you think about how to manage your anger when you're feeling calmer, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed by it in the heat of the moment. In particular, you can: 

  • learn your triggers 
  • examine your thought patterns 
  • develop your communication skills 
  • look at your lifestyle 

Learn your triggers 

Understanding what sort of situations trigger your anger means you can develop strategies to cope and think about how to react before the situation happens. You might find it helpful to keep a diary or make notes about the times you have felt angry. You could record: 

  • What were the circumstances? 
  • Did someone say or do something to trigger your anger? 
  • How did you feel? 
  • How did you behave? 
  • How did you feel afterwards? 

If you do this for a while, you might start to see patterns emerging. You could do this yourself using a mood diary (many are available online for free, see our useful contacts page for suggestions), or you could find a professional therapist to help you – see our page on treatment and support. 

“Over time I have been able to spot certain triggers, which then enables me to look at myself and choose a healthier path.” 

Examine your thought patterns 

If you're feeling upset or angry, you might find yourself automatically thinking or saying things like: 

  • "This is all their fault." 
  • "They never listen." 
  • "This always happens to me." 
  • "Other people should behave better." 

But often there are lots of different ways we could interpret a situation. It can make you feel worse if you think in terms of 'always', 'never' and 'should', because in reality things are rarely so black and white. Making an effort to replace these words with softer terms like 'sometimes' or 'could' when thinking about your situation might help you to break up negative thought patterns, reflect more calmly on your situation and find new ways through conflicts. 

“The best advice I was given was to stop briefly once I am angry to ask myself what painful emotion I am feeling in the situation where I became angry. A bit of compassion for my own pain often stops me from taking that pain out on others.” 

Develop your communication skills 

Being excessively angry and aggressive can get in the way of communicating your feelings and thoughts effectively. People may focus on your anger, and find it hard to listen to what you're saying. On the other hand, if you are able to express your anger by talking in an assertive, respectful way about what has made you angry, then you're more likely to be understood by others. 

Being assertive means standing up for yourself while still respecting other people and their opinions. It can: 

  • make communication easier 
  • stop tense situations getting out of control 
  • benefit your relationships and self-esteem 

Learning to be assertive might not feel easy to start with, but here are some things to try: 

  • Think about the outcome you want to achieve. What's making you angry, and what do you want to change? Is it enough just to explain what you are angry about? 
  • Be specific. For example, you could open your statement with, “I feel angry with you because...” Using the phrase ‘I feel’ avoids blaming anyone and the other person is less likely to feel attacked. 
  • Really listen to the other person's response and try to understand their point of view. 
  • Be prepared for the conversation to go wrong and try to spot when this is happening. If you feel yourself getting angry, you might want to come back to the conversation another time. 

The organisation MindTools provides tips on respectful assertiveness on their website. 

“What helps me is acknowledging how I'm feeling and why, then taking time to address it productively.” 

Look at your lifestyle 

Looking after your wellbeing more generally could help you feel calmer and more in control when things happen that make you feel angry. You might want to: 

  • Avoid drugs and alcohol. Although you might feel this could help you cope in the short term, alcohol and drugs can both affect your ability to control your emotions and actions, and can be a factor in violence. For information and support to stop using drugs or alcohol you can contact Alcoholics Anonymous Hong Kong.
  • Be more active. Being active can help let out any tension you're feeling, as well as having benefits to your self-esteem. Even gentle exercise like going for a walk can make a difference. See our pages on exercise for more information. 
  • Get good sleep. Not sleeping well can have a huge impact on how we're feeling, and how well we cope with things that happen to us. See our pages on sleep problems for more information. 
  • Look at what you're eating and drinking. See our pages on food and mood for more information. 
  • Learn to deal with pressure. We can feel pressured or stressed for lots of different reasons, but taking some time to learn how to deal with pressure can help us feel more in control of difficult situations. See our page on dealing with pressure for more information. 
  • Develop your emotional resilience. Emotional resilience helps us feel more able to handle difficult emotions. 

“Exercise is the best thing to manage my anger. It transforms my mood!”